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Alexx Kay ([identity profile] alexx-kay.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] alexxkay 2009-12-11 10:13 pm (UTC)

All Alone in Rebecca's Room

Sometimes, an actor will see a ghost/guest and reach out to them. Often it takes the audience member a while to figure out that the fourth wall (such as it is) is being breached, and that they should take the offered hand. It's quite amusing to watch. By this time, however, I knew the drill, and was actively seeking it out.

Mrs. DeWinter took me to Rebecca's door, unlocked it, and drew me in, returning to lock the door, keeping everyone else out. With the door closed, the room is almost silent. She then went over to sit on the sofa, gesturing to me to sit on a small footstool next to her. She reached forward gently, tentatively, and took off my mask. After being so used to having it on, it's a moment of shocking intimacy.

She has an extremely unusual expression. Her lips and cheeks are spread in a wide, welcoming smile -- but her eyes are despearately trying to hold back tears. She reaches her right hand around to rest on the back of my neck. I take her left hand between both of mine. She begins to speak, in a very quiet voice, with a breath-long pause between phrases.

(Again, my memory is woefully unreliable and incomplete.)

Once upon a time

there was a little girl

with no mother or father.

One day she woke up

and everyone was dead

the world was over

so she cried.


Somewhere around here, I hear "NOOOOOO!!!" and the clanging of the alarm bell, muffled through the thick walls. Duncan's body has been discovered. It only occurs to me later that she began telling me this story at the very moment her husband was being murdered.

The little girl tried to go to Heaven

and rose up into the sky.

But when she got to the moon

it was just rotted wood.

And when she got to the sun

(Alexx memory failure)

And when she got to the stars

they were only gnats

which a shrike had impaled on the black spikes of a thorn bush


About now, I suddenly realized that she and I were at kissing range. She had been moving us closer at an imperceptibly slow rate all along. I was momentarily flustered and had no idea what to do. Her smile had vanished somewhere along the way, and she looked entirely miserable. Then her voice got even *quieter*, and I realized that she was going to shortly end up whispering in my ear.

So she went back to the Earth

But it was just an overturned bowl.

And she was all alone

because everyone was dead.

And she cried

because she was all alone.

aaaaaalllll

*gasp*

aaaaallllooooonnnne


By now, her hands were gripping my hand and neck with almost painful tightness, and her head was entirely alongside mine. I think she kissed me, but it's hard to tell.

She sat back, trying to compose herself. I wanted to help her, to tell her that she wasn't alone -- but it would have been a lie. I couldn't speak. I couldn't change her situation. I was only a ghost. She could unburden herself to me, but that was the most I could do for her. I stroked her hand in what I hoped was a reassuring manner. She gently handed my mask back, and I put it on. She led me back out.

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