* EFF Announces Plans to Move Offices to Armored Zeppelin
Maiden Voyage to France and Japan Planned to Liberate ISPs
San Francisco The Electronic Frontier Foundation
announced its purchase of a $16.5 million dollar armored
zeppelin, which will become the new EFF headquarters in
2009.
"We felt that our organization had outgrown its Mission
District office space and that it was time to branch out
into a new direction," says EFF's Executive Director, Shari
Steele.
The new armor-plated, floating offices have been funded by
anticipated revenues from Hepting v. AT&T, the class-action
lawsuit filed by EFF in 2006 on behalf of AT&T customers,
alleging that the telecom giant had violated the law by
collaborating with the National Security Agency (NSA) in
its massive, illegal program to wiretap and data-mine
Americans' communications. Sources on the EFF's board of
directors have been quoted as cackling, "Once our trial
lawyers get our hands on that money, we will be
unstoppable!"
The hydrogen-powered floating office will also help to
increase EFF's international presence. The EFF office's
first missions will be to travel to France and Japan where
ISPs in those two countries have given in to pressure from
the music and record industries to institute a "three
strikes" rule, which would throw customers offline,
possibly permanently, if rightsholders report that they
have been infringing on their copyrights. The zeppelin will
release an army of genetically-engineered winged monkeys,
which will patiently explain why this scheme deprives
Internet users of due process and their privacy before
biting any nearby copyright maximalists and infecting them
with rabies.
"Our new office heralds an exciting new chapter in the
history of this organization," says EFF's Legal Director,
Cindy Cohn. "And I will never have to worry about finding a
parking space in the morning."
For this release:
http://www.eff.org/pages/04/01