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Reading transcripts of the allegations against Neil Gaiman, there was one thing that really hit me viscerally. Well, one *pattern*, in his case. It's a technique he (allegedly) uses on many women, which I independently discovered in my 20s. I call this technique Using Storytelling Powers For Evil.

Once upon a time, it occurred to me to wonder if I could focus my storytelling powers on one specific audience member, as a way of getting laid. Performing the experiment, this proved to 100% be doable. This remains my single memory that I am most guilty about. I did it that once, and never again. The sex was good, but not remotely worth the guilt.

Having done this myself, I understand the absolute rush of power, the insidious temptation to *use* that power. There but for the grace of god, go I, etc, etc. But this understanding does not create sympathy. It makes me *angry*.

I did it once, and Gaiman seems to have done it for almost forty years It wasn't some complex moral calculus for me; I came to realize I had Done Wrong pretty quickly. Gaiman seems to be at least as morally aware as I am. He has to have *known* he was doing Evil, and consciously decided to continue doing so. Argh.

This is in part a confessional. But I also feel this is a perspective that I don't think many of Gaiman's (former) fans share. Thanks for listening.
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Alexx Kay

February 2025

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