Queerness and Conservatives
Apr. 5th, 2026 11:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alexxkay"Why won't they just leave queer people alone? *We* aren't hurting *them*!"
I am so sick of hearing this. It's simply not true. You are not doing harm according to *your* value system, but according to *theirs*, you are a very real, *existential* threat. How many queer people do you know who have become estranged from conservative parents? The more that that happens, the more conservative society *shrinks*, and they are very aware of it.
For the patriarchy to survive, it must replicate itself in each new generation. Every out queer person is a threat to that process. Even if you aren't from a conservative family yourself, your *example* may cause members of conservative families to rebel. The conservatives are involved in a war for their very survival – and therefore, so are the rest of us. We must take it as seriously as they do, if we want to win.
It behooves us to understand the enemy. There are a number of things the conservatives want, and which influence their tactics. I will discuss these in roughly descending priority. [Please understand that I am using the words "queer" and "conservative" as useful shortcuts throughout. The exact identities vary over time.]
1) No queer people exist. Everyone is maximally gender-conforming at all times. This is, of course, impossible. I think many conservatives even understand that it is impossible. Still, this is their ultimate good, which all lesser goals seek to approximate.
2) The idea of queerness is eradicated. Sure, some people may feel odd urges, but without any framework of understanding, they can never act on those urges. Again, this is ultimately impossible, but *approximating* it is why so much energy goes into book banning and control of education. Within living memory, Britain's Section 28 was explicitly working toward this goal.
3) Queerness is a capital crime. The full force of the government will be brought to bear on any out queers. Sadly, this is not only achievable, but is currently the case in some parts of the world.
4) Queerness is a non-capital crime. Easier to achieve than the above. Currently being implemented against trans people in the US and UK.
5) Queerness is cause for universal social shunning. In some ways this is harder to achieve than making it a crime, but in other ways easier. It's the "universal" that is the sticky bit. There are large sections of the US which have managed this to at least some degree.
6) Queer *joy* is eradicated. It's alright for *some* folks to accept queerness in their midst, but only if the queer people are miserable or come to tragic ends at a young age. I think this is at the root of the still-all-too-pervasive "bury your gays" trope. This was all but explicit under the Hays Code, as administered by Joseph Breen.
With all this in mind, I think it's worth laying out what "success" looks like to conservatives overall, given that total eradication of queerness cannot be achieved. When a queer person stays miserably closeted for life, but acquires a spouse and children, whom they raise in the same kind of conservatism that they were born into – *that* is what success looks like. The misery is irrelevant, so long as the *reason* for it remains hidden. When a queer person finds the misery too much, and commits suicide, that is regrettable, but still *preferable* to having them challenge social norms directly.
I am so sick of hearing this. It's simply not true. You are not doing harm according to *your* value system, but according to *theirs*, you are a very real, *existential* threat. How many queer people do you know who have become estranged from conservative parents? The more that that happens, the more conservative society *shrinks*, and they are very aware of it.
For the patriarchy to survive, it must replicate itself in each new generation. Every out queer person is a threat to that process. Even if you aren't from a conservative family yourself, your *example* may cause members of conservative families to rebel. The conservatives are involved in a war for their very survival – and therefore, so are the rest of us. We must take it as seriously as they do, if we want to win.
It behooves us to understand the enemy. There are a number of things the conservatives want, and which influence their tactics. I will discuss these in roughly descending priority. [Please understand that I am using the words "queer" and "conservative" as useful shortcuts throughout. The exact identities vary over time.]
1) No queer people exist. Everyone is maximally gender-conforming at all times. This is, of course, impossible. I think many conservatives even understand that it is impossible. Still, this is their ultimate good, which all lesser goals seek to approximate.
2) The idea of queerness is eradicated. Sure, some people may feel odd urges, but without any framework of understanding, they can never act on those urges. Again, this is ultimately impossible, but *approximating* it is why so much energy goes into book banning and control of education. Within living memory, Britain's Section 28 was explicitly working toward this goal.
3) Queerness is a capital crime. The full force of the government will be brought to bear on any out queers. Sadly, this is not only achievable, but is currently the case in some parts of the world.
4) Queerness is a non-capital crime. Easier to achieve than the above. Currently being implemented against trans people in the US and UK.
5) Queerness is cause for universal social shunning. In some ways this is harder to achieve than making it a crime, but in other ways easier. It's the "universal" that is the sticky bit. There are large sections of the US which have managed this to at least some degree.
6) Queer *joy* is eradicated. It's alright for *some* folks to accept queerness in their midst, but only if the queer people are miserable or come to tragic ends at a young age. I think this is at the root of the still-all-too-pervasive "bury your gays" trope. This was all but explicit under the Hays Code, as administered by Joseph Breen.
With all this in mind, I think it's worth laying out what "success" looks like to conservatives overall, given that total eradication of queerness cannot be achieved. When a queer person stays miserably closeted for life, but acquires a spouse and children, whom they raise in the same kind of conservatism that they were born into – *that* is what success looks like. The misery is irrelevant, so long as the *reason* for it remains hidden. When a queer person finds the misery too much, and commits suicide, that is regrettable, but still *preferable* to having them challenge social norms directly.